It’s always trying to open up our awareness and perspective so that we can amend the assumptions, judgements, stories and yes, expectations holding us back from being in fulfilling relationships that reflect the truest version of ourselves. Life is a teacher, something I talked about in episode 87 of the podcast. Often unwittingly, although sometimes consciously, we try to pursue our unmet needs via these other relationships. For example, friends or romantic partners. When we continue to experience frustration with loved ones not living up to our expectations, it spills over into other interpersonal relationships. This is a hangover from childhood where we see people and life as being a reflection of our worth, of what we think we did or didn’t do. After all, we’ve met our obligations based on the assumption and expectation that is required for these people to be who we want them to be. So, with family, we do the things that we think fulfil the role of dutiful daughter/son etc., and we expect them to play their part(s). And all because we love them, or we believe they’re supposed to love us. We say that we love someone and, next thing, we’ve rolled out a whole load of expectations about who and what we think that person should be and do. The truth is, though, it’s only like that when we use our feelings to try to control the uncontrollable. Love can seem very complicated and painful. Tags: Abandonment, acceptance, Child - to - parent role, fear of abandonment in relationships, inner child, inner critic, self-critical, unconditional love
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